The Carrot League

Steve won the league this year after finishing 10-4 in the regular season. He defeated Grant in the championship game, preventing him from going back-to-back. His dance moves are legendary and a fateful semester in London was one of the big drivers in this group’s affinity for crunchy early-aughts dubstep.

This year’s Rabbit finished the regular season with a record of 5-9. He only won 1 game in the postseason, but it was the all important one that prevented him from being the Carrot. Sloan is an incredible skier and one of the easiest people to talk to you’ll ever meet.

Nate is this year’s Carrot, capping off his dismal 3-11 regular season. Despite climbing out of the Carrot/Rabbit match initially, he won 0-2 in the final two weeks of the season to earn his rightful place at the bottom. Nate is currently serving penance for his years in a fraternity by being a great dad to his daughter.

JM is our fearless commissioner. He seized power in the pre-pandemic era when the league was in flux and has never relinquished it. Frankly, a (mostly) benevolent dictator works well for us. He’s the glue that holds us all together. A bio on a website can’t hold the greatness that is JM.

Joey is a reliable performer in the league. He has been in costume before but his competitive nature prevents it from happening too often. Much like his performances in the league, he’s a wildcard in life as well. He is as likely to be found huddled in his garage gorging on Chipotle as skiing the Alps in an impromptu solo vacation. He also has completed the Carrot Race in 13 minutes, a league record.

John has been in the league since the beginning. Despite repeated costume appearances, if you ask him he’s the most skilled member of the league. He also keeps stats and provides weekly playoff odds to league members, which is greatly appreciated. He’s resides farther North than any other member of the league, in the frozen tundra of Spring.

Tim is likely the most affable and easygoing member of the league, as well as one of the best performers. He is never an easy out but hasn’t won the league since 2015. Tim is the type of guy who will hit the mountain with you encouraging you all the way even if you’re holding him back from shredding the gnar as hard as he’d like to be.

Championships: 2015
Rabbit: None
Carrot: None

Ryne, oh Ryne. The most fun loving and most costumed member of the league, Ryne may be better served joining a league of gardeners than fantasy football. Just kidding, the league wouldn’t be the same without him. Ryne is everyone’s favorite, and not just when you need a W to make the playoffs.

Championships: None
Rabbit: 2018, 2020, 2021
Carrot: None

Neil Eveld is a member of this league who lives in Chicago. He outkicked his coverage and moved away and we will never forgive him. Considering this isn’t his “money league”, he probably won’t ever read this bio anyway.

Championships: None
Rabbit: None
Carrot: 2016

Grant is the most hot-and-cold member of the league. He is either dominating or hanging out in the gutter, and you’ll never know which one he prefers. Grant is a gregarious, hilarious, and cherished member of the league. He goes out of his way to make you feel welcome and is always down to grab a beer and talk about whatever’s on your mind.

Championships: 2021
Rabbit: None
Carrot: 2019

Despite not being the newest addition to the league, Joe still has the “new guy” chip on his shoulder. So much so that he made this website.

Championships: 2020
Rabbit: None
Carrot: None

Andrew is a founding member of league. He takes it seriously but never too seriously. He has the distinction of being the only member to win the league and wear both costumes, which feels fitting. Andrew is boisterous and fiercely loyal. He’s the type of friend who would do anything for a buddy in need.

Championships: 2018
Rabbit: 2015
Carrot: 2021